You Took Everything Away From Me
by JerichoholicAnonymous
Summary: Set after MITB 2015. Seth notices the look of pure heartbreak on Dean's face after their ladder match and can't get it out of his head. So he decides to do something about it. One-shot.


So... I haven't written anything for over a year and a half now but Ambrollins has had my creative eye (and heart tbh) for a very long time now. This idea popped up in my mind all of a sudden and I ran with it. I'm nervous to post this since it has been a hot minute, but I do hope you enjoy it. Please leave a review! It doesn't take a lot of time but it'd make my day and give me perspective on my writing. :)

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The look in Dean's eyes haunted him to oblivion. He looked shattered, crestfallen, dejected, so very uncharacteristic of Dean. It reminded him of the Smackdown where he told Dean that he was never his brother nor friend, that he never gave a damn about him in the first place. He was so tempted to pick up his phone that night, hear Dean's voice, make sure he was alright, apologize for all the awful things he had said to him. But he didn't, forced himself not to. He swallowed down those urges like a bitter pill to make the pain go away. Tonight was different though. The urge to apologize became a pounding need in his head. His veins were still pulsing with adrenaline. And while it was his rightful night to celebrate a successful title defense without anybody's interference, Dean's face would not allow him to. Dean's face consumed his thoughts. It was crazy to Seth - all it took was one look from those piercing blue eyes to send him back reeling into the hole he promised himself never to return to once he joined the Authority.

"Seth? You okay there, buddy?" Triple H's voice shook him out of his reverie, waving his hand in front of his face. Seth blinked his eyes a few times, realizing just how much he had lost track of his surroundings.

"Yeah, yeah. All good. Just dazed after the match. Ambrose and I might as well have killed each other there." He answered, followed by a nervous chuckle, trying to conceal his mental blackout.

"Are you sure you don't want the doctors to check up on you? Make sure you're not concussed or anything?"

"I'm sure, don't worry. I'm just fucking exhausted, you know? All I need is to go back to the hotel and sleep the aches off. I'll be all better tomorrow."

"Well, if you're sure, I'll let you get to it, champ. Give me a call if you need anything." Hunter responded, with a friendly clap on Seth's shoulder.

"Of course. See ya, boss."

Once he was out of the room, Seth took in a deep breath and ran his hands over his face. All he wanted to was give in. He wanted to let go of his inhibitions and follow his instincts. Even if it were for one night, he wanted to stop his brain from dictating his every move. He wanted to stop thinking and start feeling. God knows he hadn't given himself the time or space to just _feel_ throughout this entire past year. Ever the indecisive guy, a flicker of doubt plagued Seth. But he instantly remembered Dean and the look of pure heartbreak written all over his face. And that's when his mind was made. Consequences be damned.

Taking a quick, scorching hot shower, Seth tied his hair in a tight bun and packed all of his belongings up. He haphazardly threw them in the trunk of his rental and quickly jumped into the driver's seat. Though the drive to the hotel was short, he blared on the radio in an attempt to stop overthinking. He did not wanna plan for anything. He would be spontaneous. He would follow his heart. He would not mess this up. Just this once. Not even bothering to take his bags out of the car and put them in his room, he speedily made his way into the hotel with one location in mind. The bar. He would be there. He had to be there.

It turned out to be a lounge more than a proper bar. Plush black leather chairs surrounded shiny, marbleised brown tables while extravagant chandeliers provided dim lighting with some subtle red hues. Seth's eyes did the roundup of the room before falling on the lone figure he was looking for. His shoulders were hunched over, his dusty blonde locks cascading over his face. Silently, Seth made his way to the stool next to his', plumping down onto it.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Dean's palms tightened their grasp on the cold glass of whiskey he was nursing. Seth could only look at his own hands. He already knew the look of disgust he'd be greeted by if he were to look up.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly, his voice only managing to exceed a whisper.

"Never better," Dean slurred, his voice suddenly getting louder. "I'm just swell. Having the best night of my life, can't you see?" Dean chugged down the remainder of his booze before slamming the glass on the counter. Seth finally moved his eyes up from the counter, meeting the side of Dean's face. As if he'd felt Seth's gaze bore through him, Dean titled his head to look him in the eyes. Dean's eyes were dazed. The now empty glass was far from his first. And yet Seth could still see the same look of hurt mirrored in the blue eyes in front of him, mixed in with the typical anger that alcohol brought out of him. Dean's eyes zeroed in on him even more, intensifying his gaze, his body getting closer to Seth's as he stared him down. Seth could swear he heard his own breath catch in his throat. "Now go. And leave me the fuck alone."

Engulfed by the sea of emotions in Dean's eyes, Seth could not get any words past his lips. He couldn't get himself to move either. Dean looked at him for a few seconds longer, waiting for a reaction. When he got none, he turned away from Seth, shaking his head in what Seth could only guess to be disappointment. Seth's eyes fell to the ground. He stood still, his bones immobile even though his nerves were the total opposite, completely on edge, palpitating with the overwhelming need to do something. Anything. Minutes went by in silence, long, torturous minutes, minutes where Seth's guts were swarmed in desperation.

"How does it feel to take everything away from me?" It was barely a lick over a hush but Dean's words were a magnet to Seth's eyes who once again returned to a slumped down Dean, whose long fingers were tracing the rim of his glass. He sounded like he'd given the fight up already. He looked back at Seth from the corner of his eyes, briefly flickering to Seth's lips. "Everything."

Dean chanced a small lingering glance back at Seth's brown eyes before focusing once more on his glass. Seth felt his heart plummet down his stomach. Hearing Dean say this and seeing Dean this way made all the emotions he had bottled in his system scream for a way out, for a way to be liberated and be heard. Dean held his hand out in front of him, motioning for the bartender to come. He undoubtedly wanted another drink. But a burst of adrenaline coursed through his veins, Seth quickly reached out for Dean. He curled his fingers around his forearm, causing Dean to go rigid and look at him with wide eyes. "Come with me, Dean."

"Exc-excuse me?"

"You've had enough for the night. Just... Just come with me."

Dean shook himself out of Seth's hold, absolutely flabbergasted by Seth's demand. "Why the fuck do you suddenly care?"

"Dean-"

"No," Dean all but yelled, "you don't care, you've never cared, you never gave a damn about me to begin with, remember? So leave. Leave, get the fuck out of here before Hunter starts wondering why he let you off your leash."

The words struck a chord with Seth. They stung deep. But he wouldn't budge. He knew that he deserved every bit of anger Dean was dishing out at him, and then some. But he refused to mess this up. He wouldn't walk away when the going got tough again. So he stayed calm and placed a firm hand over Dean's thigh, feeling the muscle beneath tense up almost immediately. But Dean didn't push him away. He remembered a time when his hand would instinctively melt into Dean's skin and bones, his touch welcomed and relished. The memory unintentionally caused Seth's grip to tighten up even further, almost as though to ground himself. It seemed as though it grounded Dean too, his limbs loosening up by a fraction, a shift invisible to the naked eye but one that Seth would detect a thousand miles away, like it were second nature.

"Dean, please. Just... Let's go somewhere, alright? Let's just get out of here and I'll answer anything you want me to answer. Just come with me. Please."

Seth tried to be persuasive through his eyes and through the hand that hadn't stirred from Dean's thigh. He needed to take Dean away from here, explain himself, let Dean hear him out. He wanted to lose himself in Dean like he had so long ago. Any shred of will to keep it from happening was long gone at this point. Without uttering anything, Dean stood up. For a second, Seth was terrified that he was leaving him high and dry. He grabbed the leather jacket he had been sitting on and sloppily put it on. But when he stood in his place, impatiently tapping his foot on the ground, Seth realized that he was ready to go. With him. Once his mind caught up, Seth quickly fumbled around in his pocket and grabbed the first bill he could find. He slapped it onto the counter, signalling to the bartender that he'd taken care of the tab.

In the utmost silence, Dean followed Seth all the way to his car. Seth looked back over his shoulder every few seconds, making sure he was still there behind him. He noticed the slight sway in Dean's step. He opened the door for Dean and wasted no time in going through his own. When they were both settled in, Seth started the car and drove out of the hotel garage. The silence that filled the car wasn't as awkward as it had been in the bar. It felt comfortable more than anything. Seth would catch a glimpse of his passenger every now and then. He'd find Dean looking out the window, leaning his head against it, massaging his right temple with two of his fingers. It was a habit he had to try to fizzle down the buzz he felt from drinking. With each stolen glance, Seth fought the urge to tuck Dean's loose strands of hair behind his ear, try to make him feel better himself. On one of those occasions, Dean abruptly turned around catching Seth's gaze. Seth shied away, feeling the tops of his cheeks go warm before focusing on the road ahead.

"Where are you taking me anyway?" Dean asked, his head once again facing his window.

"I don't know just yet." And that was the honest to god truth. He had no idea where he was going. The idea to take Dean for an excursion came out of nowhere. Seth figured he would keep on driving until he found them a spot. Or until he calmed himself down. Or both.

"Aren't you always the man with the plan, Mr. Architect?" Without even looking at him, Seth knew Dean would be quirking an eyebrow at him. And he was.

"Not tonight, no." He quietly answered, laced with a tone of confession.

"Huh. Well, okay then."

Seth flexed his fingers on the wheel and lost himself in the silence that enveloped them. He kept on driving until he noticed a small cliff in the distance, going off the side of the main road. It looked nice and secluded, providing them with the privacy they most certainly needed. He drove the rental up that cliff, which elicited no reaction from Dean. He parked the car and got out of it without prelude. He took in his surroundings. The cliff overlooked a valley darkened by the nighttime. The sky was illuminated by moonlight and scattered, shining stars. A nice, fresh summery breeze invaded his nostrils and appeased his mind. He was able to finally, truly breathe. He sat on the hood of the car, his feet dangling in front of him, his fingers interlaced between his thighs. He allowed himself to enjoy the calmness of the moment. It was only a minute or so later that he felt the hood dip beside him.

"This kinda reminds me of Vegas, y'know. Minus the rocky mountains everywhere."

"Yeah... Yeah, I can see the resemblance. Same peace of mind you would find there." His mind transported him to the time he climbed a mountain with Dean. Dean was holding his hand the whole time as a means to comfort Seth, who was petrified to stumble down. He would squeeze their hands together every time he felt Seth tense up, which was quite a lot of times. It surprised and amused Dean in equal measure, given the daredevil Seth is inside the ring. They eventually made it to the top and sat on the rocks. Dean looked at him with a gleam in his eyes that he will never quite forget, a gleam that exuded pride, joy and, looking back,...love. Yeah, love. The sun was effortlessly bouncing off his unruly blonde hair, bringing out all of its undertones. The moment was special. He was usually good at controlling his displays of affection around Dean, never willing to stumble over the sentimental edge and take things too far between them. But in that moment, he couldn't help but lean over and plant a soft, lingering kiss on Dean's lips before settling his head on his shoulder. The memory brought a sad, lopsided smile to Seth's face, and looking over at Dean, he could tell that he was reminiscing it too.

He didn't want to take things too far back then. He wanted to prioritize their Shield business. He didn't want their relationship, for lack of a better term, to deter them from their goals, _his_ goals. And it was dawning on him that he had been a fool to do so. It was futile. They were already in too deep, way too deep. And if it wasn't personal then, well, it certainly was now.

"You never answered my question." Dean spoke after a few serene minutes passed. Seth looked up to find Dean staring ahead of him. He still didn't answer. He knew Dean would have more to say. And even if he didn't, he didn't know how he could answer such a loaded question. "You took everything away from me, Seth. Everything. The title, the Money in the Bank briefcase, the Shield, time off of my career, my dignity, my glory, my body, my mind, my soul..." Dean tried to relax the hands he had placed behind him for support, but Seth could tell it was to no avail. "You took away from me the one relationship I would've given up anything for. Anything." Blue eyes finally stared into his own and despite the darkened sky, they were shining with a fire Seth wouldn't dare or want to extinguish. Seth looked down and Dean looked away. Seth bore a hole through his hands, a wave of emotions threatening to overcome him and sink him whole.

"I used to think we were soulmates." Seth's eyes snapped right back up at Dean. He was pretty sure his heart stopped beating for a second or two. If it wasn't hammering in his chest before, it was now. His stomach kept on flipping because of that confession. He was overwhelmed. "But how fuckin' stupid was I, right?" Dean let out a sad, bitter chuckle. "I even told Reigns. He told me he wasn't the person I should tell, that I should tell you, and I was gonna tell you. I was gonna tell you, y'know? But then I didn't 'cause, I knew, I _knew_ it would push you away. You would push _me_ away 'cause that's all you do. That's what you've always done. You keep pushing and pushing and pushing me away till I don't want you no more. So I didn't tell you, because I didn't wanna lose you. Because I couldn't fucking bear the thought of not having you by my side." Dean threw his hands in the air, an incredulous laugh coming out of his lips. "For the first time in my life I actually _wanted_ to express my feelings but you didn't let me and I didn't gave a damn because having you was fucking enough for me." Dean was getting louder and angrier with every word. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "But it didn't fucking matter in the end, did it. You took everything away and left. You emptied me out and left. You used me up for all I was worth and never looked back."

Dean seamlessly slid off the hood of the car and paced with his hands running up and down his face. He approached the edge of the cliff and just stood there, gritting his teeth, his shoulders rhythmically going up and down. Seth tracked each of Dean's movement. His whole body was on short-circuit. His blood was boiling. Lightening was going through his veins. He felt the same sort of adrenaline he would feel in the ring. It was now or never.

"I loved you."

Dean was stopped dead in his track. He was frozen in time. He slowly turned his head back to Seth's sitting figure on the car, his face engraved in shock, his mouth slightly agape. "What?"

"I loved you." Seth mustered the courage to hop off the hood of the car and apprehensively get closer to Dean, his bottom lip grazed by his teeth, his fingers faintly trembling. "I-I... Everything I've done in my life was to get to where I am now. All my blood, my sweat and my tears were for this, so I could get ahead in my career, so I could succeed, so I could win titles. I plan. I plan for everything. That's why I was always so focused on business in the Shield, why I was so hellbent on not letting _us_ get too serious..." Seth was stepping closer to Dean's body, stopping when they were face to face. Dean's gaze was too electric, too intense, reducing Seth's voice to a mere murmur. "How could I dedicate my life to my career when I already couldn't stop thinking about you? How could I be the Architect when you were the only thing I wanted to plan for? I... It was like my brain was ringing fucking alarms in my head, man. Telling me that you were getting too close for comfort, that you were putting me off my game, that you were collateral fucking damage because you were everything, you were everywhere..." It took all of his will power to continue looking Dean in the eyes. "So I kept on pushing you away because that's all I could do. I kept convincing myself I wanted my career more than I wanted you. I wanted to get my head back on track so when Hunter proposed I joined the Authority..." Seth ran a shivering hand at the back of his skull. He wanted to wallow in his shame so badly. "I came from nothing, Dean. I'm a kid from Iowa who grew up with dirt. So when Hunter approached me, how could I say no? How could I say no to my dreams coming true?"

"I guess what we had didn't matter to you as much."

Dean let out a pained breath and tightly shut his eyes closed. Frantic fingers were rubbing his plain black tee shirt, right over his chest as though trying to alleviate the pain he felt beneath the surface. He couldn't handle the words coming out of Seth's mouth, and Seth knew it.

"I'd take it back if I could." Seth could tell Dean's breath hitched. But Dean still wouldn't face him. His eyes were still closed, the movements of his fingers becoming a simple press on his chest. "If I could go back in time, I'd take it back. Betraying you and Roman. I wouldn't have done it."

"But you can't go back in time and change it."

"No. I can't."

"So it doesn't matter, does it. It doesn't change anything."

Dean's blue orbs opened and scrutinized Seth for a moment before he let out an exasperated sigh and turned on his heel, walking towards his side of the car. "Let's just go, Seth."

Seth couldn't bring himself to even stir. He was wincing while his fists were clenching and loosening uncontrollably. He was full of agitation, anger and unadulterated desperation. He was losing a battle he never had a chance at winning to begin with.

"Do you think it was easy to walk away like that? To hit you with chairs over and over again? To say all the god awful things I said? To put your skull through cinder blocks? To see you look heartbroken like you did tonight?" Bitterness was dripping with every syllable. Dean had halted his movements, supporting his weight with a hand on the hood of the car. Seth's legs willed him forward on their own accord until he was right behind Dean. "Do you know how many times I wanted to call you out of the fucking blue? To talk to you, to just hear your voice, to say I'm sorry for everything I did, to say I miss you, to say..." Seth stopped when Dean turned to face him. They were face to face, chest to chest. The heat coming off of Dean's was intoxicating, melting Seth in waves, fogging all of his senses. Seth's attention couldn't stop gravitating from Dean's eyes to his glistening lips. They were so close like this. So damn close. "I loved you for fuck's sake, I love-"

It was all Seth could say before he crashed his lips against Dean's. To his surprise, Dean didn't push him away, giving Seth the freedom to manhandle his lips with all the emotions he'd forced himself to hide for so long. He slid his right hand from Dean's chest up to the back of his neck where he nestled his fingers in his hair. Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, Dean groaned and reciprocated the kiss. He pulled Seth impossibly closer by the front of his shirt, moving his lips against Seth's with so much fire and longing. He was letting go and letting Seth in. Seth was dizzy, feeling completely drunk off the touch of their lips. Seth brought up his left fingers to tenderly push down on Dean's bottom lip, prying a guttural moan out of Dean. The sound made Seth feel even more lightheaded. Seth's fingers made way for his tongue which Dean eagerly welcomed. Seth's wet fingers fell to Dean's waist while their tongues slowly moved together, massaging and twisting and restlessly reconnecting. Seth was licking at every inch of Dean's mouth, mapping out every crevasse, relishing in the feeling of his tongue trailing across the back of Dean's teeth. A myriad of rasps and moans escaped their throats, each of them swallowed in the other's mouth, sending Seth and Dean in a world of their own. "You're gonna be the death of me, Rollins," Dean muttered in the midst of the kiss, drawing out of Seth a smile against Dean's lips, the first genuine smile he's felt tugged out of him in over a year. Seth doesn't recall sharing with Dean a kiss this charged before. It was heavy with sensation yet light all at once, Seth feeling freed, floating in the feeling that this was _right_ , this was where he belonged, with Dean pressed against his body, kissing him like he was drowning and Seth was the only thing keeping him above water.

When air became a necessity, both of their lips slacked open against each other. They stood there, forehead to forehead, just sharing air, the purest air Seth could ever experience. The kiss had taken so much out of him. He lowered his forehead to the crook of Dean's neck, his hands resting on his shoulders. Dean absentmindedly played with the loose strands of his now disheveled bun with one hand, the other wandering up and down Seth's ribs. They stayed like that for a moment or two, their minds coming down from the high they'd been on mere seconds before and Seth could swear he'd never felt this content, this at peace, this at home. Eventually, Dean gently yanked on Seth's hair, causing him to look back up. They stared at each other, Dean's hand tracing small circles at the base of Seth's neck.

"What do you want, Seth?"

Seth's hands roamed over Dean's neck and collarbones, his eyes tracking their movement. He was trying to put together the pieces of what he wanted to answer but was failing. "I-I don't know... I just- I can't stay away and look at you from a distance. I know I can't change the past but I just-I just can't, I can't do it anymore, Dean..." Dean's hand guided his head up, forcing Seth to look him straight in the eyes. Dean was looking at him in earnest, his pupils full of determination. "What do you _want_? What do you want, Seth?" Suddenly, the answer was as clear as crystal. The answer was right there, etched in Dean's eyes. "A chance. The chance I never gave us. If you'll still have me."

Dean observed him for a moment longer. With a soft pat to the back of Seth's neck, Dean looked to the ground, his head nodding up and down ever so slightly, his lips pursed in consideration. Wordlessly, Dean opened the door of the car and hopped into the passenger's seat, leaving Seth to stand in unnerving confusion. What the hell did this mean? Was Dean letting him back in? Was he turning him down? Was he kicking him to the curb? The doubt was encompassing him to the point of numbness. Seth had to drag his feet to get to his side of the car. Once inside and the ignition turned, Seth could only train his gaze on the road ahead of him, not even daring to catch a glimpse of Dean in fear of the rejection he'd find on his face. His hands were holding onto the steering wheel for dear life, his knuckles turning white in the process, a feeble attempt to maintain his composure before he could have the opportunity to break down in solitude. Seth could not will himself to look at Dean even after they pulled up in the parking lot of the hotel, his hands not moving from where they stood on the wheel, his head reeling in anticipation of the hurt he'd feel. He'd deserve it anyway.

It was only the feeling of Dean's hand on his', his thumb sliding between his own that pulled him out from his own head. His eyes gravitated to where their skin met. The back of Dean's right hand travelled up to gently caress the side of Seth's face, turning it towards him. His cheekbone was cupped in Dean's hand. The pads of his fingers then traced Seth's bottom lip, a touch so featherlight that Seth's eyes fluttered shut. When he opened them, Seth was met with nothing but pure warmth radiating from Dean's eyes.

"I could never not want you, Seth. Never." Dean gave him a knowing, lopsided smile. Dean's dimples appeared and they were directed at him. At _him_. Seth's heart skipped a beat. Dean quietly opened his door and exited the car. And as Seth found himself alone his rental, sinking further into his seat, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to breathe in a feeling so new and so foreign to him that it almost didn't feel real. Hope.


End file.
